Love is an Action, Not a Feeling

Love Your Enemies

The scripture tells us in Matthew 5:44 and Luke 6:27-28 that we are to “Love our enemies!” But how can we have feelings for those who have purposely hurt us whether physically, mentally, or emotionally? When we think of loving someone, we long to be around them.  We think about them with joy in our heart, and make plans to spend time together. We have learned that love is an emotion but when we are hurt by someone, we “loved,” we struggle to forgive. We believe we must have good feelings in order to forgive those who have damaged us and/or cut us to our core. We become unsuccessful Christians in our love walk because we have based love on feelings. I propose to you that love is an action, not a feeling.

When we base love and forgiveness on our feelings, we struggle to have boundaries. Non-Christians and Christians alike, tell us if we are still upset or hurt, we have not forgiven. They tell us to be doormats and call us hypocrites when we are not, and we believe them. We still feel the pain and struggle to have good feelings toward these people who have wronged us and then we feel worse because the Bible tells us to forgive. So, we must reason from the scripture that love cannot be a feeling. Further, it must be an action, something we do. We must heal but we do not need to be healed in order to forgive. I know I don’t want to be around those who sought my destruction. I also do not want to make plans with those who have ridiculed me, or who have tossed me under the bus. Yet, we are all called to love our enemies. Love is an action, not a feeling. 

If love is a feeling and God commands us to follow the two commandments in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, that we shall love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and strength, and our neighbor as ourselves, we would fail just for the fact that our feelings are, just that, feelings. I didn’t sit around just thinking about God, nor did I wait until I had feelings for God, before I began to attend church. To love God with all our heart, soul and strength is referred to as our reasoning, our intellect, and our understanding. Then, after we have considered God, we love Him in our strength by doing.  Again, I conclude that love is an action and not a feeling.

Jesus says, love your enemies but we need to read further.  If you’re like me, I was offended at this scripture thinking certainly God does not know what has happened. Then further in my walk with Jesus, I would get stuck trying to have good feelings for my enemies. Jesus goes on to explain what love looks like and how to love. Jesus continues and says, “Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.”  Love is an action, not a feeling.

Actions of Love:

• We are to do good to those who hate us; if we see that our enemy has a need and it is possible to help, we should help.
• Bless those who curse you; What does it mean to bless someone? Blessing is an invocation or a proclamation of goodness over someone’s life. Speak well of them in private and in public. (This does not mean we cannot talk about our pain or report someone to authorities. It simply means everyone has good and bad within but we, like Jesus, choose to find the good and speak it).
• Pray for those who spitefully use you; Pray for them as you would pray for yourself or your family. You may be thinking, they don’t deserve it, but those are your feelings talking. Love is an action, not a feeling. 

Jesus did not go to the cross because He had feelings for everyone. No, Jesus despised the shame and the ridicule He received from His own people. He did not hang out with those who consistently denied Him.  We call that a boundary. If Jesus had one, you can too.  However, Jesus did good to those who hated Him by going to the cross in front of them. He blessed them by speaking life and the salvation of God to all, enemies included, and He prayed for them by asking the Father to forgive them. Jesus, who had the ability and the right to call down an army of angels so that He would not endure the Cross, chose the cross. Love in action, is having the ability or the right to destroy someone, but not doing it. Love is an action, not a feeling.

I challenge you from this day forward; do good to your enemy(s), bless them in private and in public when you are tempted to curse them, and pray for God to touch their lives, with mercy and goodness. Love is an action, not a feeling.

Stephanie Ellsworth, Bullhead City.